Anthropomorphizing a Two Month Old

I'm trying to be good about taking pictures of Josh at his monthly birthday markers. We have a picture frame with slots for each month and I'll feel better knowing the photos are to the day. It's the obsessive side of me.

I propped Josh up in the glider and as I looked through the photos, I was amused by his various expressions. But I tell ya, this kid knows when a camera is on him because he doesn't smile and stops doing the cutest of cutes. He has such a great smile that I have the hardest time getting a picture of.

So, here for your enjoyment...I present Joshua The Human Emoticon.

{sigh}
"Here we go again. More pictures"

"Okay, Mom. Figure out your lighting and let's get going."

{yawn}

"It's exhausting to be so cute."

"WHAT did you just say?"

"WHOOOAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"Who's this guy and what is he doing here?"

"I'll pretend he's not here."

"Ah, he's not so bad. We can work together."

"Ew! Something stinks! I'm pretty sure it's you dude!"

"Okay, look squeezable."

"Really? Tell me more."

"You're going to put that thermometer WHERE?!?!"

"Just chillin'."

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

Christmas

Ahhhh, the Christmas season! What an amazing time to spend with our new baby boy.

FAUX CHRISTMAS
My grandma had wanted all the family to come to her cottage in Michigan to celebrate Christmas. However, knowing that Josh would only be two months old made Jim and me nervous about trying to take him back there. My mom was hesitant about missing Josh's first Christmas too if she went. But since he would only be two months and still relatively blobby, I told her I didn't mind her and my dad going. Next year would be a bigger deal to have them around.

So, we did Christmas early with my parents on the 19th. I realized I didn't really take many pictures. I think we focused more on video. I think my dad got photos - at least I hope so.

Here is one photo from that day. Just Josh and PaPa.

"If you're HAPPY and you know it, then your face will surely show it!"

And if not your face, then say it on your clothes.

I think Josh handled the day okay. He was kinda cranky throughout and cried as we opened his present. But it was still fun to have him be the new part of our family.

CHRISTMAS EVE
Jim's cousin Cheri flew from Connecticut to Vegas, and then she and her mom (Aunt Patti) drove to us on Christmas Eve. They, along with Jim's parents and Aunt Barbara, all joined us for the Christmas Eve service at our church. Jim and I agreed that they all would sit in the main sanctuary while I sat in the "cry" room in the back - although it's not really a cry room since it's not sound proof, so there's still worry about the babe making a sound.

Joshua did pretty well through the service. He stared at me for the first half hour and then I fed him. He was a little restless after that so we spread out on the floor and I kept him occupied until the service was over. It worked out well.

After church we all came back to our house.

Aunt Patti gets to hold Josh for the first time since he was born.

The family.

More of Joshua's Christmas Wardrobe.

CHRISTMAS DAY
Christmas morning Jim and I did our usual of opening stockings together. Josh was up for a little bit, but he isn't a morning person so didn't stick around long before going back to bed.

Then we headed over to Jim's parents house for festivities. It's amazing how much we had to load in car. In addition to presents, we had cameras and a little more to entertain Josh to try to keep him happy.

Cheri, Josh and Jim

Grandma C and Josh

Josh's Black Dog sweatshirt from Auntie Susie

Okay, I think one of my favorite gifts Josh got was a hat from his Great Aunt and Uncle in Alaska. I don't know what these types of hat are called, but it has the flaps that velcro under the chin or out of the way on top of the hat. It is so stinkin' cute! All he needs is an orange vest and a shotgun. (Just kidding)

He was already crying before I put it on him and I knew this wouldn't make him any happier, but I just had to do it. It made me laugh so hard. Every time he moved, it would twist around on his head - he'll need to grow into it a bit. But I just LOVE IT! I'm not sure how fast his head will grow, but I hope it still fits him next winter.

Josh was pretty tuckered out from all the fun and attention. He slept most of the next day.

Rejection

Last night was rough. Joshua was doing pretty good most of the day. He even was an angel when I took my parents to the airport at 5 o'clock in the morning. He didn't sleep very long after the 7:00 am feeding, but was mostly happy most of the day. Liz came for a visit in the evening and he was his typical fussy between 6:30 and 9:30 pm, but generally pleasant while she was here.

But when it came time for his 9:30 feeding, he was having a hard time holding out, so I decided to start a little early. I don't know what happened, but that kid would scream bloody murder any time I tried to get him to latch on. After 20 minutes he was still crying inconsolably and hadn't eaten a drop. I was getting so frustrated. After another 10 minutes, Jim brought the last ounce or so of milk left over from the 6:30 bottle feeding. He gulped that down in a flash. So then we warmed up the 5 ounce bottle meant for the next night. He slurped down about 3 more ounces of that. So the kid was clearly hungry - and exhausted since he slept until 5:30 this morning. At least he still slept good. He has fed normally so far this morning.

But what a feeling of rejection I experienced. I know deep down that it is not a personal rejection, but it's hard not to feel that way. When the moment you offer your baby the breast and he starts to scream, how can that not feel offensive? I had heard about hunger strikes and wondered how long this was going to last. Does it count as a hunger strike if he still takes from the bottle? I would think not, so again come the rejection feelings.

Of course all the questions come flooding of what caused it. Something I ate? Something I changed? Is he sick? Tired? Growing? Colicky? My main theory at this point is the breast pads I'm using. I changed brands a little over a week ago and I'm trying to remember if his little rejections started around that time. Maybe they smell different. So as soon as I get the opportunity, I'll go back to the other brand and see if his attitude changes again.

In the mean time, we'll pray that today continues to go well.

On a side note, I found a new blog site yesterday that I think I'm going to love. It's the Chronicles of a Babywise Mom. I read the Babywise book and agree with its theories on raising a baby so that is the method I am trying to implement. However, I have felt the book doesn't get as detailed as I would like about things. Many of my friends from work use Babywise, so they have been a helpful resource too. I still need to look at this site more, but it is very extensive about specific questions and already answered/reassured two questions I had. But it also is nice because she references other resources such as Baby Whisperer and Happiest Baby on the Block. You can see her trying to blend the different techniques which is kind of what I have been doing.

A Leak

(be warned, weird subject matter ahead - I may be starting to lose my marbles.)

There appears to be a leak in our house. It springs up every once in a while. I try to fix it, but it continues to be problematic.

You see...the leak...is me.

Breastfeeding is definitely an ongoing adventure. Lefty is my biggest problem. Andrea and I have come to an agreement that the arm we hold the baby in most is the side that produces the most milk. Something about stimulating the muscles in that area or some such thing. I am right handed, therefore I hold Joshua in my left arm to keep my right had free to do things. Lefty produces a lot of milk. Andrea is left handed and has experienced the opposite situation.

Lefty likes to leak.

But for some reason, Righty has upped her game. I'm not sure what brought this on. But she has been getting pretty full and demanding more attention.

I had been using disposable breast pads. I wanted to be cost conscious and maybe even a little eco-friendly and decided to buy reusable cloth breast pads. What a joke these things are. I didn't last one night. In fact, the first night I wore them was the first time I ever leaked over night. Even during the day they didn't hold much. They are smaller around than the disposable and really don't seem to absorb much. Even when I would start leaking, the pad itself didn't seem to be holding much.

So I have gone back to the disposables. They still have their issues, but last a little longer.

Today is a prime example of the leak in this house. Since Joshua has been sleeping through the night, the mornings are a little rough for both of us. I need relief and he needs food. It's a team effort in which we both benefit, but Josh's little tummy can't quite give me the full relief I need. I always debate pumping, but know that I need to feed him a little closer together in the morning and don't want to jip him of the supply. Lately he'll feed at 4:30, 7:00 and 9:30 and every three hours after that. The 9:30 is typically the first time we can get a good full feeding in as he is awake enough and his tummy has been primed by the earlier feedings.

At our 9:30 feeding today, he fed really long on Righty. As is his custom, he audibly filled his diaper while eating, so when Josh was through with Righty, we changed his diaper. I made a pit stop to the bathroom before commencing with our feeding on Lefty. I look in the mirror and see that Lefty is not waiting for us. She has already left quite a trail all down my shirt. I hope there's enough left for Josh! But of course there is because he never feeds as long on the second course.

I hear this is supposed to slow down, so I will await the time when there is no more leak with great anticipation.

(I apologize for today's subject matter. It's Monday and it was a long weekend with a very unhappy baby.)

Christmas Wardrobe

We have been so blessed with so many clothes for Joshua that I haven't had to buy a thing yet. Which is a double blessing for me since I hate clothes shopping so much. Hopefully it will be easier to shop for Josh than it has been to shop for me or Jim. But between hand-me-downs and gifts of new clothes, we are well stocked.

But, it's Christmas time...and he has no Christmas clothes. So I have had fun buying him Christmas clothes and making sure Josh wears them as much as possible.

This little number from Old Navy barely fit him for this one wearing. He is getting so big! It's a three month size, but as I was dressing him in it, I noticed the length and weight references and he is at the top of both!!! My big boy!


Here's another Old Navy piece. Still barely fit around his diaper, but the sleeve length was better.


I had seen a picture one of my friends had taken of her son with him propped up in the crib so I thought I would try it. This is the second photo I took and he had started to slump over.

I started to reach out to right him, but then he basically did it himself. He even lifted his head up. Such a strong boy too!!


I guess it's time for me to start sorting through the 3-6 month clothes to see what he can wear.

Josh is eight weeks tomorrow and he has been doing pretty good. He started sleeping through the night consistently a little over a week ago. He is solidly asleep from 10:00 pm to 4:30 am. His daytime naps have been a little rough the last couple days and his poor little voice is starting to sound hoarse from all his crying. Hopefully we'll get back on track in the next day or two.

Tummy Time

On Thanksgiving we discovered how much Joshua enjoys playing on the floor. He was really starting to show off his smile and make little cooing noises. It was so much fun to play with him!

I keep hearing about "tummy time" and how important it is for babies to help them build their neck and arm muscles. So I've tried a little bit to put Josh on his tummy without a lot of success. He typically buries his head in his arms and immediately starts to fuss and cry.

But I will press on...

Here we are trying again. He was seeming to tolerate it pretty well.

I plopped down my camera to try to get a cool shot of him. This shot is pretty blurry because the camera is just sitting on the floor and I pushed the button. I'm glad he's in the shot as much as he is. And I LOVE that Josh is looking right into the camera!


So now I'll try to focus more...

Uh, Oh!


Moment passed. Tummy Time tolerance has expired.

The good news is that he really is happy laying on his tummy on my chest and I think he's building a lot of the necessary strength there. Plus, my favorite times are when he's laying on my chest so there will be no shortage of that!

Here are just some shots of my beautiful boy. I was trying to capture his smile, but he just wouldn't give me a nice big one like I know he can. But his eyes do seem to sparkle.


Joshua also loves to play with his tongue. He'll stick it out and then give a great big smile when he sees how much we like it.


Bailey is still trying to figure out what this new little creature is in the house. He'll typically give one little sniff and then look at me as if waiting for an explanation. Then he'll go on his merry way.

Thanksgiving 2009

Thanksgiving Weekend!!

Auntie Susie drove down from Northern California with her two black Labradors and got to meet Joshua for the first time. Susan was a WONDERFUL aunt and just loved holding our little turkey-dumpling.



In fact, she was so good at calming him down that at one point we joked about her slipping him a mickey.

I'm not so sure she was kidding...

Look at this kid. Completely sacked out. Yah, the two of them got along just fine!

There's my little pumpkin.

Here's Grandpa B taking his turn.

It was also a great opportunity to get some various family shots to send to people for Christmas.

Soft Kitty in a Round

Big Bang Theory just makes me laugh. This delighted me and if you follow the show it's that much more enjoyable.

The First Big Boy Bath

Joshua's umbilical cord fell off on day nine (while waiting for his first doctor appointment). We finally got around to giving him a big boy bath in a bath tub this past Saturday. Jim and I struggled with the logistics of how to clean him up from a messy diaper and transport him to the tub without Joshua spraying en route. Jim thought we could try wrapping a cloth diaper around him in transit. So that worked, it just seems there may be a better way that we need to figure out.


Joshua seemed to like the bath okay. He fussed a little at first as he tried to figure out what was going on. But once he was covered in the warm water he really seemed to enjoy it.

Look at how fat his little belly is getting. Jim says he looks like a gecko. Guess he's getting ready to add to his length...



I was also worried about if he would tinkle in the towel. He didn't this time and it was just nice to have his naked little body all wrapped up without a diaper.


He's so stinkin' cute!


Another major milestone this weekend was having Joshua sleep the nights in his crib in his room. He's been napping in it during the day so we thought the transition would be pretty easy - and it was. We were just waiting for the baby monitor to arrive so we could hear him. He slept just as well in the crib as he had been in the bassinet in our room. So we were able to take the Pack 'N Play with the bassinet out of our room and get our room back to normal. It was pretty cramped in there.

The Double Double

So Jim has returned to work. I now get to try to figure out what normal days should try to look like. Joshua does seem to be getting pretty regular about feeding every three hours and is napping pretty well. That is helping a lot to figure out what I can get done in a day. I'm slowly trying to incorporate some outings, but no more than one per day.

Yesterday we walked to the beloved In-N-Out. I needed the walk, he needed to get out and I was ready for the challenge of how to manage with him. I knew the stroller would probably be too big to go into the place with and I got there right at peak so the place was packed. With it being Veteran's Day, I didn't know if that would make it more or less busy. I'm thinking "more". So I parked the stroller outside the door, picked up Joshua and carried him in to order. The clerk asked how old he was and - of course - commented on how cute he is. :)

Then I found a table outside and waited. It was so busy that two high school freshman asked if they could share my table. That actually made me feel better about leaving my stroller to pick up the food. So I hefted Josh back inside to pick up the food. We (I) ate and headed on our way.

Then I walked to Fresh & Easy and picked up a few groceries.

I know this isn't terribly exciting, but it felt like an accomplishment to me. It's a new world to think about the stroller and where it can or should go. I can't just run into the grocery store for one little item without coming up with a plan of attack.

Today's challenge is to go to the store carrying him in the Baby Bjorn (a carrier that holds him against my chest). Look out world...here I come!

Joshua Has Arrived

Our little angel,
Joshua

Born: October 27, 2009, 12:31pm
8 lbs, 7 oz.
21 3/4 inches
Perfect in every way

It was an amazing experience to give birth to this little guy. I hope to write more about the details here later, but finding a lot of time to reflect on the computer is difficult. I was induced Monday night and he was in my arms Tuesday afternoon. Just about every part of the experience was different than I expected. We're still learning to adjust at home and find ourselves full of more questions than answers. But we are lucky to have a great network of people to look upon for all their different experiences. Being a mom is truly enriching and I love it even in the midst of the tiring and frustrating times.

Here We Go!

We had a doctor appointment this morning with an ultrasound and exam.

I'm a little over one centimeter dilated and about 30% effaced. My amniotic fluid has dropped quite a bit (5), the placenta is showing it's getting old (calcification) and Josh is still looking pretty long and about 8.5 pounds (plus or minus a one pound margin of error). He has turned and is now facing the right direction.

The doctor scheduled us for induction tonight at 8pm. If she induces now, there is greater likelihood that I can deliver vaginally than if we were to wait much longer. She stripped my membranes which could start some contractions even during the day today. The expectation is that he will be born sometime tomorrow afternoon (or earlier).

It's nice to have a game plan to look at now. The unknown was driving both Jim and me crazy! He's working in the office a little bit today and then will come home. I'm just trying to clean up a little bit at the house and then take it easy. Doc told us to eat a big non-greasy, non-spicy meal around 5-6pm. Hmmm...what do I want?

It's really exciting to thinking about what is to come. I had lots of weird dreams last night about the baby being born and it actually made me feel closer to motherhood than I have this entire time. (Never mind that my newly born baby was already walking and talking - we'll just ignore the weird dream elements.)

DING! Time's Up

What is it about 3AM? It is a cursed hour that I tend to have a hard time sleeping through. Sometimes I can power through it, but sometimes I just have to get up and busy myself.

So today is our due date. The date that I have recited 3,298,462 times as people have asked when the baby is due. Hmmm, what is the likelihood that Joshua will arrive today? Looking pretty slim. There have been some rumblings over the last week, but nothing significant to make me feel confident about today. I know that can all change in a flash, though.

I'm kind of getting cabin fever. I'm tired of waiting. Tired of hanging out at the house, washing dishes, doing laundry, settling stuff in the nursery. I'm trying to keep busy at home, but I can only do the same things with no change for so long. Let's add the challenge of a baby to the mix!! I get out of the house as often as I can, but try not to do too much to wear myself out. Laying around resting is getting old too. I know I should be relishing this time since it's about to all go away, but I'm ready to move on.

Maybe once we get past this date I will actually become less anxious about it?

I think Jim and I are pretty much ready for the hospital. My bag is as packed as it can be for now. I'll just need to throw a few last minute things in (like a hairbrush) and grab my pillow. We're keeping all our electronics charged up since we can't use outlets at the hospital.

The video camera is charging right now and then will be put in the car. No, we are not taping the birth. But I thought we could have the camera in the car just in case we want to take some video in the hospital before we leave. I hope I have at least one blank tape. Guess I still need to check that.

We put the stereo in the car with batteries just in case. Music is so important to me and really helps to calm me down. I have an iPod shuffle that will be with me. But Jim is concerned that I won't want (or can't have) the earphones in my ears but that I will still want music. So we'll have the stereo in the car just in case. I'm taking an Enya CD and two Josh Groban CDs as well as one "mixed" CD of mellow songs.

I'll update this blog as often as I can until we're hospital bound.
Wish us luck!

39 Week Appointment

The past week hasn't been terribly eventful. Last Wednesday I was having quite a bit of back pain and cramping. The feeling was constant so I didn't really think it was contractions. The following day I had a little less room in my lap, so I think it was all due to Joshua moving down a little bit.

I have been looking for Braxton-Hicks contractions but haven't really been convinced about what they should feel like and if I was having them. But I think I have finally figured it out. I was walking in the grocery store on Monday and suddenly felt the tightness. I couldn't blame it on any other movement I made and it clearly wasn't Joshua moving. So maybe I was finally identifying the Braxton-Hicks.

Yesterday we had an appointment with the doctor. I wasn't expecting to be dilated at all, but I sure was hoping. And sure enough I am one centimeter dilated and a little bit effaced. I was really happy to hear that. It doesn't really speak to anything about timing. It just indicates progress and that things are moving in the right direction. Jim and I are really hoping Joshua is born sometime this week.

38 Weeks

Being Off Work

So it’s been two weeks since I’ve left work. What have I been doing with myself?

The first three weekdays I was pretty much a bum. I slept and watched TV. The best thing I have to report is that I did work out every day. I started going to my mom’s Jazzercise Light classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. It’s a pretty good fit. Sometimes it gets a little too fast, so I gotta slow it down for me, and I can’t do all of the bending over moves. But it has felt great to get my body moving again. I’ve also walked and done yoga. Wednesday I had a wonderful pregnancy massage. Aaaaahhhhh.....

Thursday I started to come out of the fog and get some motivation. My mom came over and helped me get some nursery organization done. We washed a whole bunch of baby clothes, bedding and other stuff. And Friday we had our doctor appointment.

The second week really was quite busy. I reorganized the kitchen pantry to make room for the bottles and formulas etc. Melanie came over and helped me think a lot of things through. I'm such a planner, that the unknown is kind of freaking me out. I just want to know scenarios and be prepared for them. It's kinda funny because I do think I am pretty darn flexible, but I just like to be prepared. I also spent the week having lunch with people, getting my hair done and doing other house stuff.

Thursday the 8th, Jim's work threw a shower for us. It was really nice and we got several of the big items that we were getting a little worried about having. Friday we went to Babies R Us and tried to get everything else we needed. There are still a few items that we need, but I don't think any are really urgent, so we'll tackle those as we need.

37 Weeks - Doctor Update

Today was our 37 week appointment.

All is looking pretty well. The doctor did an ultrasound and we saw little Joshua wiggling his big toe. So great! She guessed his weight at 6 pounds 13 ounces. She thinks he will be born around eight pounds, maybe nine. But she keeps saying my height helps so it shouldn't be too bad.

He is head down, but he is facing the wrong direction (posterior). He hasn't dropped yet, so hopefully he'll turn the right way as he drops.

I am so perplexed by the "practice" contractions or Braxton-Hicks. I've been trying to figure out if I've been having them. I've asked my doctor, the Lamaze coach and friends what they should feel like and I keep getting different answers. I don't feel like I have felt any. I want to feel them, one, just to experience it, and two, just as a sign of progress. As things stand now, this kid looks like he's going to take his sweet time getting here.

Shower Hosted by My Mom

My mom hosted a baby shower for me on the 25th. A lot of the guests at this shower were women from my parents' Sunday School class who have watched me grow up since a young pup. We don't have a lot of local family, but that which we do have were invited as well. My mom did a really great job! Great food. Great games. Great times.

My mom had her cousin Terry supply us with his famous toffee. It is yumm-o stuff. He built a gourmet toffee business starting with my great-grandma's (his grandmother) recipe and making it other-worldly with infusions of other flavors. I like to make the original recipe at Christmas, but his special stuff is truly a treat. You should check him out at Terry's Toffee.

The toffee was put in these cute little animal cups.

Gotta have the train theme. :)
That fabric is the main inspiration for the nursery.

We're trying to do classic trains and planes in the nursery. It's been a little difficult to find decor I really like, so if you have any leads, let me know.

Loretta, Joyce, Linda, Shirley, Joan

Linda, Betty, Barbara, Melanie, Patti, Elaine

One of the neat activities my mom had was that each guest had to pick an envelope. Each envelope had a number on it, but they weren't told what the number represented until everyone had their envelope. Then, what ever number they had represented an age. They were to write a piece of advice for that age. I thought that was a pretty clever idea. Then my dad had a good idea to put a picture in each envelope of the person that wrote that note. That'll take some work, but I think it's a great idea.

Here is someone writing their advice.

How do you get a gaggle of women to be quiet? Make them race to finish a puzzle. It was so funny. There were about five teams and each had to put a puzzle together. The first to finish won. It got amazingly quiet. Such concentration (and competitiveness)!

Present time!

My mom had this darling basket full of goodies.
She even sewed a pillow, bumper, and pad covers.

I was overwhelmed by all the blessings.

My sister, Susan, flew down for the shower.

Davia was quite the social butterfly.

Our official baby book. YAY!!

It really was a wonderful shower. It's amazing to know so many of these women have been a part of my parents' lives for so many years. And it's always good to see family!