My Identity Crisis

I was immune to Starbuck's for a long time. I am not a coffee drinker. I love hot chocolate, but have never even been a fan of Starbuck's hot chocolate. It just seemed rather bitter or blah.

I don't know how it happened. I thought it was Jim's fault, but he denies it. Maybe it's my boss' fault. But somehow, someone, somewhere introduced me to the magic potion.

Java Chip Frappuccino...

I.

LOVE.

YOU.

I buy them too often. I was happy to learn they make a "light" version, but the addiction is still bad.

It's only recently that the baristas are starting to truly recognize me and try to make a connection. They certainly don't know my name with confidence yet (one girl is getting close) and no one has yet attempted to remember my order. I vary the size and flip-flop on the "light" version.

Through it all, they continue to contribute to my name game.

Shawna

I'm used to Shawna. I get it ALL the TIME!

This next one, however was a first.

SHON

Wha--?

Shawn vs...

Shawn vs. Sean vs. Shaun vs. Shone vs. Chone

These are all the various spellings I am aware of for my name. I was going to type it phonetically, but I could only come up with typing it the same way I spell my name, so why be repetitive? After all, my name is spelled the most correct and logical way.

The are very strong opinions out there for which are the girls' spelling and which are the boys' spelling. At this point it really doesn't matter. With the crazy kakamaymee way people spell even the simplest of names, the boy/girl debate seems almost pointless. How many people can you think of with each of the spellings above? How many are girls? How many are boys? Are there other spellings?

P.S. I KNOW it's "cockamamie," but don't ya see the irony?

The Woes of a Girl Named Shawn

I used to hate my name.

Shawn is a boy’s name and it has caused an unending stream of situational stories. I have asked my mom numerous times where my name came from. She usually answers that she doesn’t really know. But I do find it rather odd that she had childhood neighbors named Shawn and Christine. How can that be only coincidence that my name is Shawn Christine?

When I was young, I wanted to change my name. I wanted to go by Christine because that was more girly. Plus I was WAY into Charlie’s Angels and my favorite was Kris Munroe (Cheryl Ladd). She was blond and pretty and cool.

At the time I thought it was spelled C-H-R-I-S. I only recently learned about the K-R-I-S spelling. I also had a huge crush (we’re talking second grade here) on Tommy McCluskey. He was a boy in my class and was so dreamy! So my new name forever more was to be Chris McCluskey.

I have since learned to appreciate my name. I like that it’s different. But regardless of how I feel about my name, stories continue to abound. So I thought I would start sharing some of my past stories (some funny, some not-so-funny) and new ones as they arise.

I’ll give ya the most traumatic for starters. :) Nothing like a little trauma, right?

I was probably in first grade and my parents signed me up for Vacation Bible School at church. I had never gone before and was very excited about all the activities and outings we would be going on. We showed up at church and they had sign-in tables separated by boys and girls. Naturally we went to the girls table and they couldn’t find my name. Somehow they looked on the boys list and found my name. They assumed “Shawn” must be a boy! I was mortified (or whatever emotion a six-year-old would have) and thought that since that was where my name was, that was where I had to go…with the boys! Yuck!!! I didn’t want to go to VBS anymore and just wanted to go home. Luckily adults are smarter than first graders and they just switched me over to the girls. Whew!

While everything was made right and I have mostly recovered, this moment has clearly stuck out in my head as my first memory regarding my name, and was only the beginning of a lifetime of assumptions.

Signing off forever,
Chris McCluskey