Just Waiting

It doesn't feel right to be bored with waiting. I look so forward to having a good four weeks off of work before the baby comes, but with three weeks passed, I'm getting impatient. I remember feeling this way while waiting for Joshua. I should be enjoying a potential 10 day stretch before our family of three becomes four, but that is not where I am.

All the essentials are ready. The kids room is prepped, the kitchen is reorganized and the last of our ordered baby items have arrived. That's not to say there is nothing to do, but I guess there is nothing left I want to do. Except, of course, have a baby.

I think this just must be the breaking point of dealing with all the physical stuff. My body is tired. Everything seems hard. I'm anxious to be on the up-swing of getting back to a normal body that can reach down to pick up a block without being winded or getting heartburn. And having Josh as an additional ingredient during pregnancy has been quite the challenge. I'm not really meaning to complain, but this is the reality, and I think also just evidence of my state of mind of being done.

I'm also really praying that I don't have to be induced. Because Josh was induced, I felt a little cheated out of some of the birthing experience. Plus, I truly believe that it made my labor harder to deal with. I had visions of walking (or at least being mobile) through contractions and letting my body due it's thing. Instead I was restricted to the bed the entire time.

Jim and I have both felt convinced that our little girl will make her appearance before her February 6 due date, but by how much is where we differ. Jim says January while I still think February. We've wanted to place a bet, but can't decide what the wager should be.

Things do seem to be starting to happen though. At my doctor appointment on Monday I was dilated 1 cm. Tuesday I started to lose my mucous plug and my Braxton Hicks contractions have returned quite a bit. I definitely feel the baby moving lower in my pelvis and she seems more centralized in my abdomen and not just on my right side. So it really could be any time now. Every night I go to bed expecting to wake up to my water breaking. A friend of mine told me a way to try to get things rolling, which seems weird to do, but once we get past Friday, I may try it. (No, I'm not going to share what it is. And no, it's not "that".)

As much as I want to win the non-wagered-February-bet, at this point I'll take her as soon as she will come.