Lamaze

Jim and I had our first Lamaze class tonight.

First impression...? Not at all what I expected.

The room was a big stadium-seating-style lecture hall. We had to sit in desks with the little table tops that fold down beside the chairs. We had to fill out some paperwork and all these poor big-bellied women couldn’t even use the table tops. It was a pretty funny sight.

There were probably 30 couples there. The instructor had us go around the room and introduce ourselves and say where we were delivering. If the instructor was familiar with the hospital she would ask who their doctor was.

She just kind of gave some general information. She tends to ramble and go off on lots of rabbit trails. What is amazing is that despite the rabbit trails, she always remembers where she started. We watched one video about identifying early labor symptoms. Then we did about a 20 minute relaxation exercise.

Unfortunately this was just not the intimate Lamaze class I had always envisioned. The instructor admitted our room had been changed and that she was not happy with where we were. There were so many people in the class. The chairs were horribly uncomfortable. And trying to do a 20 minute relaxation exercise was just a joke to me.

The icing on all this cake was one expectant mom in particular who was sitting just two seats from me. I’m not sure how old this woman/girl was, but I would guess around 20. However, her mental age was closer to an early teenager. Her “coach” was her “legal guardian” and I would guess wasn’t playing with a full deck either. The problem was just the constant restlessness and disruptions coming from these two. They were constantly talking and make inappropriate comments. Expectant mom kept eating, leaving the room to get more food, and rustling all her food packages. Then during the video and relaxation exercise she started belching and giggling. I was aghast. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through this class.

The ray of light in this situation was that the instructor teaches this class at another location which was in danger of being canceled to due low enrollment. So she was asking people from our class to consider switching to that one. It didn’t look like this disruptive pair was going to move, so I gave Jim the “desperate eyes” to switch us over. We have to wait for a call to find out if the switch is a go.