And So It Ends

Ten months, six days.

That's how long I made it breast feeding. While I was pregnant and shortly after I gave birth, I had hoped to nurse for at least six months. I didn't know how hard or easy it would be for me, but I set a goal. I knew six months would be extremely beneficial for my child.

Then, as timing worked out, we would be traveling just after Josh was nine months. I debated (and researched) for months about whether it would be easier or harder to still be nursing while traveling. I decided that nursing was the route to go. I figured by that point if I had made it nine months, I might as well go the solid year.

After we returned from our trip, I was trying to figure out how to time out the weaning to cut him off by one year. How strict did I want to be about the timeline? While I was proud to have gone as long as I did, I knew I was quickly approaching the awkward stage where people start to wonder if you're nursing too long. While I didn't really care, I was surprised how much I was thinking about it. If I went over a year, was I going to be one of those moms who couldn't give it up?

What I didn't expect was for the decision to essentially be taken away from me.

Around nine months, my supply seemed to start progressively dwindling. I clearly had enough during our travels as there didn't seem to be any problem. But after our return, there was a perfectly bad storm of circumstances that had major impact. I had a couple different personal areas of life that were causing extreme stress. Then I had to fast for almost a day and a half for a medical procedure. At that same time, Josh got a stuffy nose and couldn't even breathe in order to nurse. Pumping out was not working and only increasing my anxiety. I went from four feedings a day to one overnight.

I was surprised to find how emotionally attached I had become to nursing. I was sad to know it was coming to an end so quickly. I needed more transition time and I wasn't gonna get it.

The decision was made to stop completely over Labor Day weekend so that I would have four days to be home and deal with any "side effects" and also I would be changing Joshua's schedule at the same time.

So Josh is now on formula and three meals a day plus snacks. I really like his new schedule and it's nice to finally have our meals lining up so we can eat together as a family.

All in all, I am proud of my ten months and six days. Josh has not been truly sick a day in his life yet (just two slight congestiony times) and I know I have laid a valuable foundation for his life.